An Email I Received
Military Rules for Non-Military Personnel
"Dear Civilians, "We know that the current state of affairs in our great
nation have many civilians up in arms and excited to join the military. For
those of you who can't join, you can still lend a hand. Here are a few of
the areas where we would like your assistance:
(1) The next time you see an adult talking (or wearing a hat) during the
playing of the National Anthem---kick their ass.
(2) When you witness, firsthand, someone burning the American Flag in
protest---kick their ass.
(3) Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the highest
amount of respect to all veterans. If you see anyone doing otherwise,
quietly pull them aside and explain how these veterans fought for the very
freedom they bask in every second. Enlighten them on the many sacrifices
these veterans made to make this Nation great. Then hold them down while a
disabled veteran kicks their ass.
(4) (GUYS) If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you were.
Wearing battle dress uniforms (BDUs), telling others that you used to be
"Special Forces," and collecting GI Joe memorabilia, might have been okay
when you were seven years old. Now, it will only make you look stupid and
get your ass kicked.
(5) Next time you come across an Air Force member, do not ask them, "Do you
fly a jet?" Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot. Such ignorance
deserves an ass-kicking (children are exempt).
(6) If you witness someone calling the US Coast Guard 'non-military', inform
them of their mistake---and kick their ass.
(7) Next time Old Glory (the US flag) prances by during a parade, get on
your damn feet and pay homage to her by placing your hand over your heart.
Quietly thank the military member or veteran lucky enough to be carrying
her---of course, failure to do either of those could earn you a severe
ass-kicking.
(8) Don't try to discuss politics with a military member or a veteran.. We
are Americans, and we all bleed the same, regardless of our party
affiliation. Our Chain of Command is to include our Commander-In-Chief
(CinC). The President (for those who didn't know) is our CinC regardless of
political party. We have no inside track on what happens inside those big
important buildings where all those representatives meet. All we know is
that when those civilian representatives screw up the situation, they call
upon the military to go straighten it out. If you keep asking us the same
stupid questions repeatedly, you will get your ass kicked!
(9) 'Your mama wears combat boots' never made sense to me---stop saying it!
If she did, she would most likely be a vet and therefore, could kick your
ass!
(10) Bin Laden and the Taliban are not Communists, so stop saying 'Let's go
kill those Commies!' And stop asking us where he is! Crystal balls are not
standard issue in the military. That reminds me---if you see anyone calling
those damn psychic phone numbers, let me know, so I can go kick their ass.
(11) 'Flyboy' (Air Force), 'Jarhead' (Marines), 'Grunt' (Army), 'Squid'
(Navy), 'Puddle Jumpers' (Coast Guard), etc., are terms of endearment we
use describing each other. Unless you are a service member or vet, you have
not earned the right to use them. That could get your ass kicked.
(12) Last, but not least, whether or not you become a member of the
military, support our troops and their families. Every Thanksgiving and
religious holiday that you enjoy with family and friends, please remember
that there are literally thousands of sailors and troops far from home
wishing they could be with their families. Thank God for our military and
the sacrifices they make every day. Without them, our country would get its
ass kicked."
"It is the soldier, not the reporter who has given us the freedom of the
press.
"It is the soldier, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of speech.
"It is the soldier, not the campus organizer, who gives us the freedom to
demonstrate.
"It is the soldier who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and
whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester to burn the
flag."
"Dear Civilians, "We know that the current state of affairs in our great
nation have many civilians up in arms and excited to join the military. For
those of you who can't join, you can still lend a hand. Here are a few of
the areas where we would like your assistance:
(1) The next time you see an adult talking (or wearing a hat) during the
playing of the National Anthem---kick their ass.
(2) When you witness, firsthand, someone burning the American Flag in
protest---kick their ass.
(3) Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the highest
amount of respect to all veterans. If you see anyone doing otherwise,
quietly pull them aside and explain how these veterans fought for the very
freedom they bask in every second. Enlighten them on the many sacrifices
these veterans made to make this Nation great. Then hold them down while a
disabled veteran kicks their ass.
(4) (GUYS) If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you were.
Wearing battle dress uniforms (BDUs), telling others that you used to be
"Special Forces," and collecting GI Joe memorabilia, might have been okay
when you were seven years old. Now, it will only make you look stupid and
get your ass kicked.
(5) Next time you come across an Air Force member, do not ask them, "Do you
fly a jet?" Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot. Such ignorance
deserves an ass-kicking (children are exempt).
(6) If you witness someone calling the US Coast Guard 'non-military', inform
them of their mistake---and kick their ass.
(7) Next time Old Glory (the US flag) prances by during a parade, get on
your damn feet and pay homage to her by placing your hand over your heart.
Quietly thank the military member or veteran lucky enough to be carrying
her---of course, failure to do either of those could earn you a severe
ass-kicking.
(8) Don't try to discuss politics with a military member or a veteran.. We
are Americans, and we all bleed the same, regardless of our party
affiliation. Our Chain of Command is to include our Commander-In-Chief
(CinC). The President (for those who didn't know) is our CinC regardless of
political party. We have no inside track on what happens inside those big
important buildings where all those representatives meet. All we know is
that when those civilian representatives screw up the situation, they call
upon the military to go straighten it out. If you keep asking us the same
stupid questions repeatedly, you will get your ass kicked!
(9) 'Your mama wears combat boots' never made sense to me---stop saying it!
If she did, she would most likely be a vet and therefore, could kick your
ass!
(10) Bin Laden and the Taliban are not Communists, so stop saying 'Let's go
kill those Commies!' And stop asking us where he is! Crystal balls are not
standard issue in the military. That reminds me---if you see anyone calling
those damn psychic phone numbers, let me know, so I can go kick their ass.
(11) 'Flyboy' (Air Force), 'Jarhead' (Marines), 'Grunt' (Army), 'Squid'
(Navy), 'Puddle Jumpers' (Coast Guard), etc., are terms of endearment we
use describing each other. Unless you are a service member or vet, you have
not earned the right to use them. That could get your ass kicked.
(12) Last, but not least, whether or not you become a member of the
military, support our troops and their families. Every Thanksgiving and
religious holiday that you enjoy with family and friends, please remember
that there are literally thousands of sailors and troops far from home
wishing they could be with their families. Thank God for our military and
the sacrifices they make every day. Without them, our country would get its
ass kicked."
"It is the soldier, not the reporter who has given us the freedom of the
press.
"It is the soldier, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of speech.
"It is the soldier, not the campus organizer, who gives us the freedom to
demonstrate.
"It is the soldier who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and
whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester to burn the
flag."
posted by Daedalus at 4/06/2005 01:13:00 PM
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